You answer me next time I ask you to kiss a fish! (2005-11-23 - 3:35 p.m.)

Today is Vegetable Propaganda Day at the Forestry Commission! They have a giant display of veg in the cafeteria and are pressing “Healthy Eating Recipes” on people. And as I went to clock out at lunch today I was asked if I would like a “Lucky Dip”. I was told to reach into a bin liner and voila – I was rewarded with a bag of carrots (plus one onion). They have helpfully included a recipe for Carrot and Coriander soup, which actually sounds lovely, so I will probably try it. No free coriander included, though, I checked.

I have to say they are preaching to the converted here. I would estimate that at the moment I’m about 80% vegetarian. Vegetables are cheap and yummy – cheap like borscht, in fact, ha ha. By the way, amusingly the British equivalent of that phrase appears to be “cheap as chips”. And they wonder why they have to coerce people into eating veg?! The whole culture centres around deep-fried potato products.

Last night I had roasted butternut squash, red pepper and onions with a sort of Crown Royal-brown sugar sauce and brown rice. I was in an experimental sort of mood. Sadly you couldn’t really taste the Crown, but it was pretty delicious all the same. None of those are vegetables I would have gone near in my childhood. Look how much I’ve broadened my horizons!

This very important news article was passed on by Andrew:

Attacker struck passer-by with fish he wouldn't kiss

A man is facing jail after slapping a passer-by with a fish.

Alan Bennie, 20, was walking through a park when he was approached by assailant David Evans, who was carrying a fish.

Neil MacGregor, prosecuting, told Falkirk Sheriff Court that the incident happened in Zetland Park in Grangemouth, Stirlingshire, at about 8.30pm in May this year.

Mr MacGregor said: "The accused asked the complainer 'Do you want to kiss my fish?'

"Mr Bennie made no reply and walked on, at which point the accused said: 'You answer me next time I ask you to kiss a fish', and slapped him round the face with it."

The attack caused reddening and left fish scales sticking to the victim's cheek. Police were called and apprehended Evans nearby. He admitted the offence.

Evans, 22, of Strowan Road, Grangemouth, pleaded guilty yesterday to assaulting Mr Bennie with the fish to his injury.

Sheriff Craig Caldwell deferred sentence until later this week, for the case to be dealt with along with other matters involving Evans which are still to be brought before the court.


Ooh, I just had a thought - I bet that guy was a Newfie! Don't they always go around trying to get people to kiss a cod and drink screech?

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