~ ANNE! ~

Grandma's funeral is today. I wish wish wish I was home. I could have been, which is the rotten part - it was a horribly agonising decision whether to go home for the funeral or not. I don't know if there was a "right" decision to make, so I made the most logical one. The expense, the time, the long layover, and the possibility of getting trapped in an airport due to East Coast storms were all reasons not to go. But the main thing is I have a feeling once I got home I really wouldn't want to come back... and I hate giving up on things without giving them what I consider to be a fair shot.

But I really wish I was there right now.

So I'm back in Edinburgh after a good holiday (all things considered) with Steph and Remkes in Utrecht. Steph and Rem were excellent hosts despite the fact that I was really sad most of the time, and fed me extremely well. I'm so impressed with Remkes' cooking. He fed us homemade black bean soup with scones, homemade pizza (including the crust) and stir fry, plus the huge Christmas dinner he was mostly in charge of. Not to mention all the Christmas baking.

Steph and Rem had a Christmas tree and the whole works, and it was stuffed with presents. Christmas dinner was hosted by Janelle, one of Steph's coworkers. She's from the Southern states but her husband's Dutch. It was an odd mix of people but a decent party - didn't feel too much like Christmas, but it was hard to care in the face of Rem's homemade pyrogies. (He made them as a surprise for Steph, who was missing her grandma's pyrogies. As was I!) I had a good time up until they started playing an ENDLESS game of cards (four hours and counting, argh). We got home sort of late, but my family called just after we walked in the door, which was awesome.

I'm working in the Murrayfield kitchen a few days this week (today and tomorrow), which is excellent. Not only can I use the cash, but I'd much rather be busy to keep my mind off things. Today's task was to make deep-fried haggis balls, and I wish I was kidding! You seriously cannot get much more Scottish than that. "I know! Let's make a pudding out of organ meat and oatmeal and then deep-fry it to pack in as much cholesterol as possible!" And did you know that uncooked haggis is mushy and grey? Appealing! It was kind of fun rolling up the wee balls, though.

I got a whole pile of music from Rem when I was there (I already have most of the stuff Steph owns), which pleases me. I was listening to Buck 65 today. I've heard excellent things about him, but I have to say I was totally impressed by his album. Great stuff. It's not very close to what I usually listen to and I still love it, which is impressive.

Both my flatmates are still home for Christmas (Leeds and Stuttgart, respectively) and the flat is quiet and cold. I hope stuff starts happening again soon, because the last thing I need right now is to be alone with my thoughts. Still, Hogmanay will be here soon and I will at least get out for that.